I Wear Clothes, Not Outfits

I had such an interesting conversation with a friend the other day. We were discussing how we don’t wear “outfits” anymore. Our conversation was sparked by another mutual friend who is always so put together – hair done, perfectly highlighted, nails manicured and always dressed in an “ensemble” of coordinating clothing pieces, shoes and jewelry.

*Sigh*  So jealous. How does she do it? The devotion, time and miracle-working of this woman to look like this with four children under the age of six. I have ONE child and I’d seriously have to wake up at 4:30am to look that put together. Maybe it’s just me.  The vast majority of my “outfits” and “ensembles” have not been touched in months and months while I opt to wear the same things over and over again — jeans, tees, hoodies — my comfy gear.

Most of these have not seen the light of day since C was born. I do miss them (*wipes small tear*) They just don’t go well with lounge pants.

Don’t get me wrong, I like to look good –  I still won’t leave the house without make-up, or without my hair neatly done. I would be horrified to have someone call Stacy and Clinton on me, (would NOT turn down the shopping spree though) so I always try to make sure I look presentable when going out or I’m going to be seeing other people. Still, it’s not quite the same as the way I used to dress pre-baby or even while pregnant.  Temporary? I hope so. Bad thing? Not necessarily.

I almost started comparing myself to that other mom and feeling like a slob, but I realized that I have to do what works for me. My job right now is being a mom, at home, with a one year old. I’m fortunate for that. The heels, outfits, highlights and jewelry (as much as I love them) aren’t the right attire (or as budget friendly) for me in my current role.

And that’s okay….for now.



  1. I am the disheveled mom. There is a mom at my kids’ school who is always stylish and totally chic… clothing, hair, make up, accessorized perfectly, drives an immaculate silver BMW convertible… the whole nine yards… all nine. lol Anyway, one day I was showing up late as usual while she was briskly walking out of the preschool with her fitted-torso, ankle-length black leather coat billowing behind her (she had the top half buttoned, showing off her totally trim and fit figure). She stopped me. “You are my IDOL,” she said. “Every day you are late… and you are unphased by it. How do you do it?” She was serious. I was her IDOL. lol She was not being snippy or snarky. She was serious. So… you never know what kind of impression you are making! ;-)

  2. I am SO with you. I live in my yoga pants, tanks, hoodies, etc. I used to feel so put together & stylish. Now my clothes may match & still be cute items, I do not feel so stylish. I need help…I do try to fix my hair but rarely fuss with makeup if I’m just at home for the day. When I do wear makeup, I feel like I’ve forgotten how to apply it. And shoes? Oh my poor adorable sexy collection of shoes that I never wear anymore. *sigh* :)


  3. I am an older mom of 6, ages 11-29 and while not working out of the house anymore, have lost that importance. What good are leather jackets and fancy shoes if they have spitup and brownie batter all over them? LOL! The only problem comes when a mom FEELS bad about losing her identity if that style is a big part of you. (For me, I dont) I sometimes feel bad for my hubby that he gained a mommy and lost a wife in there sometimes. So, I do like to still have sometime to go out and dress up for me AND him! Usually, I dont put too much pressure on myself because he also has lost a lot of style…men do too when babies enter out lives. I’d trade in designer jeans N heels for sweats n tennies ANY day if it meant my kids got mommy to play on the floor WITH them or trips out the park or beach in the sand! All comes down to priorities AND being comfortable in your clothes AND your own skin!

  4. New follower here GFC, Twitter, Facebook, etc., from NY:) Tri State mamas, gotto stick together. Anyway’s, that is so true, it’s about what is enough for YOU and makes YOU feel content and happy. Good for your friend, if that makes her feel content, and good for you on the same front. It’s so important in life to can the comparisons, and see yourself as completely individual.

    With or without children you will find these women on different ‘level’s', of what makes them feel comfortable enough to feel like themselves, and leave their homes. I have seen many a woman without hair, makeup, or nice clothes, without a dirty diaper to be found, because that is just how they are comfortable. That is them, even without any kids.

    I have never let kids, even twins heaven help me, lol, stop me from being myself in that, like you said, I won’t leave the house without makeup, because a Shelly without makeup, just isn’t Shelly at all, and I wouldn’t be happy or comfortable, but I envy those who can go without.

    I might not always have everything planned out down to matching jewelry, and french manicures anymore, but if I skip the jewelry, it’s because I don’t want to get strangled, or pay to have a torn ear lobe repaired, and the nails, well…I don’t want to puncture delicate skin with big nails anymore. One day might they be back? We’ll, see.

    But hair, makeup, nice clothes, it’s still important, but I don’t have to sit there for an hour mapping it all out. It takes me about that long to get ready start to finish, which is nothing compared to many of my friends, but I can match things up fairly easy, even if a time or two I gotto pull something out of the laundry…Oh well, but nothing has changed there.

    Highlights…I could do it as it really doesn’t take much of any time for the person who gets it done, it’s the hair dresser who does it, and mom only has to sneak away what? Once every 6 weeks or so? But why bother making hair weaker, that gets tugged on every day, and ripped out of my head at times, anyhow? That would just make it easier for the babies to break it off! No thanks for now.

    It’s all about being YOU, and just being a happy you. Kids don’t make you lose who you are, but you can make you lose who you are, if you allow that to happen. We lose some time yes, but we are pretty good about our planning, aren’t we? If we want to slap on some foundation and lip gloss, we can make it happen.

    Great post!!

    I don’t think I’ve really referred to clothing as outfits, since high school, lol.

    xoxo Shelly


  5. There just aren’t enough hours in the day!

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